Adrift
by SubtlePen
Summary: JUDGES' PICK in the "A Picture is Worth a 1000 Words" Contest. Edward walks away from Bella, but comes to realize he'd never be able to leave her forever. AH, BxE.


**A Picture is Worth a 1000 Words Contest**

Title: **Adrift**

Your pen name: **SubtlePen**

Inspirational photo number: Photo 5

To view the photos for this contest visit: http://i618(DOT)photobucket(DOT)com/albums/tt268/Rosalynn7885/contestcollage(DOT)png

Rating: T

Summary: Edward walks away from Bella, but comes to realize he'd never be able to leave her forever. AH, Rated T.

If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this contest visit:

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/a_picture_is_worth_a_1000_words_contest/76199/

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_Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series, or any of the characters created by Stephenie Meyer. I do not make any money from the writing of this story._

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"Need a ride somewhere?"

I sat there, on my best friend's front porch, wondering what the hell I was doing. He was out of town, but I had nowhere else to go. I was just sitting there, no clue what to do next, when the car pulled up. I waited for a minute, listening to the engine idle, wondering if this was such a great idea. Part of me wondered what the hell other options I had, and part of me said this was the stupidest thing I'd ever considered.

"Sure," I said, feeling simultaneously trapped and adrift, and loaded my hastily packed duffel and guitar into the sedan. She looked me up and down, and it kind of pissed me off. That is, until I thought about what I was wearing, and I had to laugh at myself. I looked like I'd run away from a business-professional clambake slash pajama party.

"Your shoes are untied," she said.

"I was in a hurry when I left the house, I guess I hadn't really noticed. Shoe strings weren't my most pressing concern."

She nodded without speaking. I wasn't sure if she expected me to talk, or whatever, but I had nothing to say, really.

"So, where to?"

"I haven't got a clue." It was the truth.

She nodded again, leaning heavily on the driver's door. I wondered why she'd offered me a ride.

"Look," I said, "if you think I'm…"

She cut me off. "You're running away."

I rolled my eyes, fighting the urge to tell her to just pull over and let me out, but I may as well endure whatever was coming, as limp along the two-lane blacktop in my dress shoes. I wasn't even sure if I'd thrown any socks in the duffel, come to think of it, much less other shoes. I just had to _go_, and threw together whatever my eyes landed on.

She was waiting for an answer, looking at me sideways.

"I don't really know. Both. Or maybe neither. I don't… know." I sounded as broken as I felt.

"So you left with a half empty duffel and a guitar, in your pajamas and a dress coat, but you're not sure why you left or where you're going."

It wasn't a question. I stared out the window, knowing that in about forty-five minutes we'd hit a town large enough for me to hitch a different ride. I could be at my cousin's house in about twelve hours, barring complications finding a lift going north. I tucked my hands into my armpits and leaned my head against my window, hoping she'd just drive and leave me alone.

About ten miles later, my hope ran out.

"You know, running is never the right solution. Unless you're being chased by wolves or something, in which case it's probably futile either way, but running doesn't solve anything."

"Just – there's a truck stop outside Port Angeles. Can you just drop me there, please? That's all I need." Having this conversation wouldn't solve anything, either.

She pressed her hand over her mouth, but I heard her gasp. I closed my eyes, knowing she was crying.

"All you _need_? That's _all_ you need?"

I scrubbed my hands over my face, cursing myself for ever getting into the goddamned car with her. I should have jimmied the door at Jasper's house and let myself in, and figured out what to do from there. I couldn't do this.

"Look…"

"No, YOU look, Edward. What about what _I_ wanted, damn you! What makes you think this will fix anything?"

"Bella, I can't… just let me out." I pointed uselessly at a wide spot in the road a few hundred yards ahead.

"Do you really think this would fix... what, exactly?"

"I can't… I'm no good for you, don't you see? You always end up hurt, no matter what I do, I screw it up. We're better off apart. It's better this way. Give it time. Pretty soon, it will be like I was never even here." She continued to cry as I spoke, and the more I said, the worse it sounded, even to me.

"Are you completely serious? I love you, Edward. You love me, I know you do."

I didn't have the strength to even hold my head up any longer. I looked out the sunroof, watching the forest whip by. "Bella…"

"Do you really think being apart will protect me from being hurt? Do you really think life will be meadows and moonbeams if I'm alone? If _you're_ alone?"

"Stop, Bella. Just – stop."

"No. I want you to really think about this. Close your eyes."

I rolled my head back and forth on the headrest, calculating how many more miles till we hit PA.

"What – I'm not playing any stupid game here, Bella."

"Close your eyes and think about me alone, Edward. _Really_ alone. Who would have picked up my pieces when my dad died? When my mom left? When I lost that job? Where would I be? Is that what you want? Is that what you think would be better for me? Alone, Edward?"

She stomped on the brake and pulled the car off the road. I had to brace myself on the dash to keep from being pitched through the windshield. She was openly sobbing.

"Is that really what you want, Edward? Alone?"

It was exactly what I wanted, but my lack of conviction undermined my words. "You'll meet someone. You'll have a nice, normal life. You won't be alone, Bella."

"Don't you SEE? I don't want a nice, normal life. I want YOU! I love you. So fucking much it hurts just to think… I love you. Only you. Only ever you." She crawled across the console and into my lap, pressing herself against me, clinging to me like she, too, was adrift.

I took a deep breath and slowly wrapped my arms around her, leaning my cheek against her head.

I'd _never_ be able to leave her.

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Miztrezboo, i adore you. *wet slurps*

thank you all for reading. i appreciate your reviews! please check out the other fics in the series:

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/a_picture_is_worth_a_1000_words_contest/76199/


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